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Post by hobbsy on Feb 7, 2024 23:16:14 GMT -5
"Summoned?! I think you're mistaking me for a psyker. The only witchcraft I do is deciding which regiment are on the frontline and which are on rest and relaxation!" Lochore declared to a bout of laughter. After the laughter died down, the general took up a nonchalant pose and directed his crop towards Zayne.
"Now my recently adjusted adjutant, will start with bad news and then the not-so-bad news. What messages have we received from the front?".
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Post by theredauthar on Feb 8, 2024 0:45:33 GMT -5
Zayne clears his throat, "Well the first report states..."
He pauses briefly to reread the script, "A tank squadron was lost in the last battle."
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Post by hobbsy on Feb 8, 2024 6:07:13 GMT -5
"Emperor above, I have been careless. First I lose my adjantant, then a tank squadron. At this rate, I'll lose all the Janissaries!" the general exclaimed as he covered his eyes with his free hand.
"But never fear!" Lochore continued. "I know just how to find them again! Check that report Padre, if there is a shipment of booze missing the steel legionnaires have jumped them both in transit. If there is a Order Hospitaller unit missing, the tankers have jump them!"
Once the laughter died down, General Incompidix added "And while you're at it, what's the next detail on the report?".
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Post by theredauthar on Feb 8, 2024 10:30:01 GMT -5
"Yes, the second report states..."
Zayne looks down at the script again, "Captain Norm Al Monkeigh's forces seem to be out maneuvered by Eldar again."
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Post by hobbsy on Feb 9, 2024 3:00:12 GMT -5
"Ah, the battle of the Eldar and the elderly continues!" General Incompidix proclaimed. "It isn't really a fair fight, but when they said 'Pick on someone your own age!', Captain Norm Al Monkeigh was the closest thing we had! We had to bring him out of retirement and mount him on a hell hound just to carry the necessary medication! But enough with the issues, before I need a tissue."
After pulling out an obnoxiously large sheet from the opposite sleeve, pretending to blow his nose while doing an impression of a lemon Russ starting and draping said sheet over Zayne, the clown put a hand on his shoulder and said "Come now my agitatable adjutant, surly there are is some uplifting news today for all these Emperor blessed men and women?"
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Post by theredauthar on Feb 10, 2024 0:14:16 GMT -5
“Something positive, let’s see,” Zayne pretends to look through the pages, as the script instructed, “It does appear that your order for extra underwear rations has been approved!”
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Post by hobbsy on Feb 10, 2024 1:02:36 GMT -5
"Splendid news! Though check the colours for me if you may. Half should be red in case I get wounded. I don't want my soldiers seeing me bleed and have to be removed from the battlefield for medical attention. The other half should be brown for... Other reasons.".
There is a faked awkward pause to emphasize the joke before the general blurted out "Next subject, next subject!".
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Post by theredauthar on Feb 12, 2024 22:30:04 GMT -5
Zayne looks at the script again, "It does look like there was an error in the order for auxillary weapons. The longlases are Ogryn sized and the ripperguns are ratling sized.
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Post by hobbsy on Feb 14, 2024 16:13:38 GMT -5
"No error pardre! It was all according to my cunning plan. The ratlings, as their name states, can get through whatever small pipes and air ducts in the enemies positions and ambush them at close range. As for the ogryns, have you ever seen one through a rock? Clearly born snipers!"
"Now enough with the reports." the general continued. "Time to get to know the wonderful men and women in our glorious presence this evening. A commander must know his soldiers inside and outside! Men, I'll learn about you outside on the battlefield. Women, I'll learn about you inside my office after this meeting!"
"Though before the commissar has a word with me about that last line, let first get to know my wonderful new adjutant so that I don't lose him like the last one. Pardre! Tell us your name and a little about yourself!".
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Post by theredauthar on Feb 19, 2024 21:58:41 GMT -5
"Oh, of course," Zayne says folding the script up gently, "Acting Head Preacher, Zayne Errol, of the Cadian 335th, at your service sir."
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Post by hobbsy on Feb 20, 2024 2:15:48 GMT -5
"A Cadian! I guess that makes you a lasgun preacher?" said the general to both Zayne and the audience. "Well since Cadian stands..."
At this point, Lochore took a pause as the Cadians in the crowd repeated the familiar mantra before continuing.
"... where do you stand on the topics most close to a Cadian's heart? Faith in the Emperor, the death of his enemies and the opposite sex?!".
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Post by theredauthar on Feb 21, 2024 0:17:58 GMT -5
Zayne is taken back by this, unsure what to say. He tries answering truthfully, "Well I am not Cadian by birth, so take my opinion with a grain of salt. There is not greater service one can do than that of serving the Emperor of Mankind, there are many ways one can achieve the death of his enemies. I believe every trooper I've inspired is two enemies I've taken down."
"As for the opposite sex...that's not really my area of expertise. My mentor always thought such things beneath a man of the cloth," Zayne continues. He didn't add that he's pretty sure his Mentor, Bleff, wasn't as chaste as he pretended to be.
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Post by hobbsy on Feb 21, 2024 17:28:34 GMT -5
There is a rising cheer to Zayne's words on fighting, particularly from the Cadian band which had played before. His words on the opposite gender gets a slightly different response (with a few more cat calls).
"An honest man with an honest opinion." Lochore replied. "Though having you as an adjantant may be an issue then. If you keep telling the true, how can I 'tactically' withhold it? But tacticalities aside. A good sense of humor goes hand in hand with a fist full of faith! Do you have a good joke or a particular skill you can display for our morale tonight?"
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Post by theredauthar on Feb 22, 2024 1:14:35 GMT -5
Zayne hesitates for just a moment, having thrown out his speech earlier. Perhaps he can adlib some encouraging words before he takes his leave of the stage. It only takes a moment for him to come up with what he’d like to say…
LanternO'Red Request: `[4df+0]` Roll: `[+, , -, -]` Result: `-1`
Perhaps it’s the sound of clattering dishes from the wait staff, the opening doors of someone entering, the minor conversations from the seated tables, or maybe a combination of that and more. But for a brief moment, not a single eye was on Zayne. No ear hears his words, no eye sees his passion.
By the time any attention is returned to him, he stands proudly with a small smile, unaware that whatever he said, joke or speech, fell on deaf ears.
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Post by Fate's End on Feb 25, 2024 1:32:29 GMT -5
Candlemass was not something for Lieutenant Yarrick, it was something for her soldiers, but she had been almost ordered to make an appearance by the Commissar-Captain of the Hellborn. So . . . here she was, angrily stalking into the damned founder's club for the damned party. She'd just come off a maintenance shift, her shirt was covered in grease, along with her pants, hair and half of her face. Great coat jauntily unbuttoned, eyes full of barely seething hatred for anything and everything that wasn't her own soldiers. With a thud that was louder than it had any right to be, she pulled out a chair near the back of the room and slammed down into it, staring up at the . . . act, was it?
A careful listening could just hear muttered under her breath, "This better be good."
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